It’s like sex.
I am a magnet for weird situations.
Example 1:
My friend and I decided it would be a brilliant idea to walk 2 miles from the 101 at 2am. Nope, NOT SMART.
While stumbling down Hollywood Blvd, we ran into a very diverse group of people who invited us to follow them. We decided that wouldn’t be such a good idea and started to walk away when one guy (who was absolutely wasted) grabbed my left arm and pulled me toward him begging us to come along. He said they were ‘forming a chain.’ At the same time my friend grasped my right arm and a full game of tug and war began. Pulling left, pulling right. Back and forth.
Now, I know that I should have been terrified, but by that point I was so far gone that both options seemed perfectly fine. Forming a chain with strangers didn’t sound half bad and neither did going home and falling into bed. My biggest concern was that both of my arms were about to be ripped out of their sockets. The insanity lasted a good 20 seconds before someone in the group interrupted and told the guy to let go of my arm because he was scaring us.
Example 2:
Two days later we are at The Cribs show patiently waiting for the second band to start playing. I see an extremely sweaty person making a beeline right for us and know that we are in store for something awesome. Smelling strongly of cigarettes and cheap alcohol, he looks at me and rambles something similar to the following:
Random person: It’s ok. Don’t worry, we’re all the same in the end. It doesn’t matter.
Me: Ok…
Random person: It’s like sex.
He definitely left us speechless.
After the show, I’m standing outside and see the same guy coming right for me. His eyes are even more glazed over and this time I am ready for his profound statements:
Random person: We’re all the same in the end. I just think you’re beautiful. May your dreams come true.
Me: Wow, thanks…
End scene.