Life through my kitchen window
Maybe it’s my neighborhood. Maybe it’s my timing. Maybe it’s just me but I see and hear a lot of fucked up shit from my kitchen window. (this is starting to sound like a really weird emo poem, but I’m digressing!)
Yesterday I was making beef stew (my life is exciting, sorry I missed your party Chris but I will get into that via email with you later) and I heard some guy screaming. So me being nosey (and female) and already having my head out the window smoking a butt, decide to pay attention and in doing so, relearned a life lesson…….
“(unintelligible name) what have you never stepped in shit before?”
(by the by, this is dialogue from a father to his maybe 7 yr old son.)
“Don’t be retarded, listen to me now.”
(God I love it hahaha!)
“First you have to squeegie it off using the edge of the sidewalk like this.”
(little kid copies)
“You’re fucking lucky it rained out cause your mother would have killed me; now go step in that puddle over there, wet your shoe, and go squeegie again.”
“Like this dad??”
“Yeah, good, now i want you to go stomp around for a few steps then see that tree over there, go wipe your foot in the dirt over there then go stomp off some more, then your done, no more poop on your shoe- you got that?”
YELLING the entire time like a drill instructor. I think he was mad our school systems don’t offer a class in shit removal. I’m certain this was one of those, you had to be there things but I found the entire exchange absolutely hilarious! I think I may have to start leaving my camera in the kitchen so I can start posting videos of all the ridiculous things I see!!!
Ok, done, the end.
BYE!